what would batman do

There's no hope for people like you and me

weird
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
He never cares about anything or anybody. Just bowling. I find that weird. It's clear that he never cared about his wives or any of his girlfriends, hell he doesn't even care about his "best" friend. Not really. Not enough to not have had sex with his best friends wife. He doesn't care about his parents. He doesn't care about the mother of his kid (which is fine by me, though i'm sure he's pretending to care about her so he can pretend to be a good dad) its all just so fucked up. like, so fucked up.

he cares about his job.

and bowling, which is his job.
that's it. end of story.

he's good at pretending to care about things and people but he doesn't. he really really doesn't. that's fucked up. he holds no joy and love in anything other than his job/bowling. no joy in people. no joy in places (other than a bowling alley) and no joy in anything else in the entire world.

that's sad.

it's not me. i might talk about him and what happened but i'm LUCKY that i noticed he didnt care. Maybe i found out the hard way, but it was more that I could no longer offer him anything and he get to maintain his "good guy" image. Although people are seeing through it Maybe not his flordia friends.....

i gave him all i had and it wasn't good enough. i never mattered to him.

i never could have mattered to him. his own family doesn't matter to him.

well if that's love it comes at much too high a cost
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
Everything is done. The child brought to life by people betraying me is born.

I guess I knew but I didn't want to admit it. I certainly don't understand it. I would have done anything for the person I thought he was.

I'm tired of losing people.

he's not coming back.
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
Ghosting
The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

I know he's not coming back. He just doesn't have the balls to say it to my face. Yeah, I blame her.

(no subject)
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
So my depression causes you to isolate yourself from me. That makes sense. I feel alone so you ensure than I AM alone.

Stay classy.

SMH.

I wonder
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
I honestly wonder if people try to annoy me on purpose? like.....are you really just that....annoying or are you just messing with me?

"oh he's under my skin, just give me something to get rid of him"

Difficult
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
Everything is difficult. If I am not depressed, I have horrible anxiety. When I am anxious, I wish I was depressed. I don't know when the last time was I was happy. I have happy moments but IDK when the last time was when I was generally happy for any extended period of time.

I could scream out loud I AM NOT HAPPY. I AM DEPRESSED. I WANT TO DIE A GOOD PERCENTAGE OF THE TIME and it wouldn't matter. I guess I don't really really want to die. I just. I mean it's going to happen anyway. So it should happen before the off-chance that I ever get honestly happy. I'd rather it happen when I was sad so it wouldn't be like "aw man I was so happy and WHAM!"

The worst thing about depression is nobody understands it unless they have been there.

"Don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem"-said by people who have never been depressed. not manically, not clinically.

I guess I have to try to sleep.

Oy
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
I look because I don't want it to sneak up on me. I want to see it coming my way. I want to stop anything before it starts. It's not that I don't trust. I can't really trust. Trust is hard and the truth takes time. Yep, I quoted Alias.

I feel betrayed but it's yet to be my significant others that betray me. It's my 'best friends'. It makes me wonder if I will ever have that again.

This is boring.

Everything has changed and yet nothing has
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
I have an actual boyfriend.A lives with me boyfriend. But I am still alone. OTHER PEOPLE are the reason I am alone at least some of the time. God forbid you just stay the fuck at home or just go some place, any place else. Maybe I am not alone but I just feel alone? That's the same thing as being alone. Ive always been alone though. "I'd walk with my people, if I Could find them" and still looking.

So I am depressed. What else is new? I am bored. So. Bored. I hate winter. Winter is not life. Winter is death and bleakness and emptiness. Winter is gray and clouds and muck and sludge and cold and wet.

Facebook makes me lonely. Facebook makes me want to set people on fire.

I make myself lonely.

I isolate myself because I am isolated.

I keep trying to accept not being happy. Not really ever being happy. Sure I have moments. Moments so rare and in between. Moments so far apart that I can't even recall the last one. August maybe?

Still hoping for that coma. Not death just something in between. I could have allowed myself to bleed to death. I still think about it sometimes but now it's too late. I lost that opportunity. It would have been so easy as well since the doctor was just like "yep, that's normal". lol. It's almost comical.

Whatever. X

curious
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
to see if someone is still trolling this......

troll? come out and play!

You'd think I would learn
what would batman do
leftyouparanoid
I'm heartbroken again. Can't seem to go without having a headache or heartache. I don't get it. I don't get why I am not worthy of someones time. I don't get why I am not worth a minimal risk. I'm just a fucking idiot I guess. I wish it would end. I wish things could be different but you kinda have to have money to change anything important. I'm so sad. I'll be back.

?

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